People with intellectual disabilities have the same range of sexual thoughts, attitudes, feelings, desires, fantasies and activities as people without disabilities. However, the sexuality of people with intellectual disabilities has often been seen as a ‘problem’. Sex education is sometimes withheld, even though people with intellectual disabilities experience sexual abuse at higher rates than the rest of the population. They may also be at increased risk of sexually transmitted infections or unplanned pregnancy if they are not educated about sex. It is important that all children are educated about sex and given the opportunity to explore, enjoy and express their sexuality in positive and healthy ways.
Sexual development
In most cases, children with intellectual disabilities reach puberty at the same age as other children. According to some studies, the more profound the disability, the later the onset of sexual maturity. Children with severe disabilities may need extra education and support to express their sexuality in positive ways. For example, if a person has trouble understanding the difference between private and public behaviours, they may not realise it is not acceptable to masturbate in public.
At increased risk
People with intellectual disabilities experience all forms of abuse, including sexual abuse, at higher rates than the rest of the population. Without adequate sex education, they may also be at increased risk of sexually transmitted infections and unplanned pregnancy. Some of the reasons for this increased risk include:
Lack of knowledge about sexual issues.
Information about sex may come from misinformed peers, rather than books or other reliable sources.
Their mental age may be lower than their physical age.
A willingness to place total trust in others.
A tendency to be overly compliant, particularly those children living in institutionalised care.
Lack of assertiveness training or skills.
An overprotected lifestyle heightens the above characteristics.
Reasons why sex education is withheld
Some common reasons why sex education is withheld from children with intellectual disabilities include:
There is a misconception that children with intellectual disabilities don’t need sex education because they will forever remain in a ‘child-like’ and therefore non-sexual state.
Some parents fear that a child with sexual knowledge will be tempted to experiment and may become pregnant accidentally, contract a sexually transmitted infection or ‘get into trouble’ in some way. The underlying hope is that a child who doesn’t know about sex will have no desire to express their sexuality.
Some parents are uneasy about discussing sex with children, particularly if the child is intellectually disabled and doesn’t grasp concepts easily.
The parents may have tried to talk to their child about sex, but weren’t able to express the information in a way the child could understand. Failed attempts may cause the parents to give up.
Obstacles to learning
It can be hard to explain the physical, emotional and social aspects of sex to a child with an intellectual disability. Some common learning difficulties include:
Learning at a slower rate
Difficulties with abstract thinking
Trouble relating the ideas to their own life experience.
Aspects of education
Ideally, sex education should include information about:
Building the social skills necessary for relationships of all kinds
How to maintain relationships
Coping with relationship difficulties or rejection
Sex and relationships, including marriage
The changes of puberty
The physical mechanics of sex, including reproduction
Appropriate and inappropriate expressions of sexuality
Sexually transmitted infections
Safer sex
Contraception
Masturbation
Homosexuality.
The benefits of sex education
Some of the documented benefits of sex education for children with intellectual disabilities include:
Increased social skills.
Improved assertiveness.
Greater independence.
An ability to take greater responsibility for their sexuality.
Reduced risk of sexual abuse, sexually transmitted infections and unintended pregnancy.
Changes to behaviour, such as adopting more acceptable expressions of sexuality.
The right time to introduce sex education
Suggestions include:
Generally speaking, sex education should begin somewhere in the primary school years before puberty. A child is never too young to learn proper names for body parts, including genitals.
Parents should look out for times when the child expresses interest or curiosity in sex - for example, if they see actors kissing in a movie on television and start asking questions.
Sex education is an ongoing process, not a single lecture. Children should be given basic information first, and then other topics should be introduced as the child matures.
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